Resolving Conflict in Divorce: Keeping the Peace During Dissolution of Marriage
Feb 01, 2012 01:51PM
● By Beth Davis
Traditionally, the words divorce and conflict seem to be synonymous, but according to local attorney, Carl J. Becker of Newton Becker Bouwkamp Pendoski, PC, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, couples under the stress of failing marriages can truly flourish when given strength produced from simple knowledge and understanding.
Becker says one of the keys to keeping the peace during dissolution of marriage is simply education. “One of the first things we do for our clients is make sure they have an understanding of the rules and the process—how it works, the duties and responsibilities of each party, what rights they have and how it will impact them, their spouse and their children—they can then use that information when developing proper responses to potentially negative situations.”
Once individuals are armed with this information, the difference is palpable—they are calmer and more confident in their knowledge, which can create a more positive experience for everyone involved.
To help avoid any unnecessary conflict, Becker says it’s crucial that spouses and/or ex-spouses respond to communications in ways that will not encourage further conflict. “The goal is to take the emotion out of it and simply exchange factual information,” he explains. “If you take a positive approach, then you’ll often have a more positive response.”
Recognizing this is not always easy, Becker suggests that families meet with therapists and counselors to help them cope with divorce and all that entails. Plenty of free resources also exist—from reading materials to churches and groups—that are designed to support families and help them optimistically move forward.